life is meant to be LIVED

Living life... what exactly does that mean? I don't think one ever really knows until you are faced with such a life altering situation. In his song "Live like you were dying", Tim McGraw takes living to places I'm not sure I would ever want to go ~ sky diving and going any seconds on a bull!! I do think that we should all try to love deeper, and make our words sweeter, and give forgiveness more freely. I have even given thought to what I might want my "bucket list" to include. I've never really been adventurous, but it seems to me now that adventure = living life! Don't worry I am still not going to skydive, but I am going to try things that I never thought I would, and I'm going to do more of the things I love. I want my girls to learn first hand that we shouldn't be afraid to try something new or to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone. You never know what life is going to throw at you so I am going to live each day to the fullest, and I'm gonna hold on tight and enjoy the ride!

Tomorrow is treatment #5 ~ I will have less to go, then I have been through! There is an end in sight. I have to tell you that I have surprised myself in my ability to handle all the things that have been handed to me in the last few months. Not that I have handled them on my own! I would probably be locked in the closet somewhere if it wasn't for God, family, and the absolute best friends in the world! But I do think that we all have strength, courage, and some good ole' fashioned stubbornness that exceeds our expectations when faced with a situation that puts us to the test. So here's to getting to the other side of all of this, and LIVING LIFE!!

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

week of fun in the sun

The girls and I are getting quite the tans!! We have had so much fun this week! Hit the pool or the beach almost every day. We were so lucky to have some really great friends here that we spent lots of time with. Ed and Tracey ~ thank you so much for making us feel like family, and introducing us to the whole "gang"! Always love making new friends, and spending time with awesome people! I haven't had that much fun in a long time, and I'm looking forward to the concert in August! Wish the weather had been a little nicer for the guys, as they were here to fish the Marlin Club Tourney. Hope you all had a wonderful vacation!

The girls did have to take a day off from the sun to visit the pediatrician. Didn't realize until I got there that Kimber was due for her last set of shots... 4 of them. OUCH!!! Yeah I'm sure it hurt like crazy, but that is what she said. No crying, just "Ouch!" Both girls got great reports!

I have been feeling good. Some days a little more tired, but other than that everything has been perfect. Loved spending time with my girls all week. A little worried about the treatment that is quickly approaching ~ new med, which is hopefully a little nicer, but the thought of any changes is a little scary.

After a week of fun with family and friends it is back to work. Next weekend will start another busy week for the Ballance family ~ hoping that I feel super after treatment because one of my husband's best friends will here for the week. Been a few years since we have seen him and I'm excited to meet his family. So let's hurry up and get this week over!

happy daddys day

Today I would like to give a shout out to two special men in my life... my dad and my husband! Happy Father's Day! The girls and I love you!!

Quick review of the last few days: Friday ~ got the dreaded shot, but other than that I felt pretty good all day. Found out that the steroids that I get in my treatment are probably what allows me to feel good until Saturday.

Saturday ~ Very tired, and achy arms and legs. Didn't do a thing all day except take naps and ibuprofen! Must have been the right thing to do because as soon as I woke up this morning I knew it would be a much better day!

Sunday ~ Girls and I spent the morning at home with daddy! They both sat with him in the recliner ( a memory that I will hold dear!). Then we all had lunch at Mommom's and Pawpaw's house. Stewed chicken, one of my all time favs!! Then the girls and I headed to the pool for the afternoon. Had an awesome time! So glad that I felt as good as I did today! Can't wait to see what fun this week has coming!

half~way

Only four more chemo treatments left to go! Even better is that today I finished the treatments that have two medicines (which are supposed to be more harsh), so next time I will start Taxol. Hoping that this med is kinder to me. Having a lot of cramps in my feet and legs this afternoon, and feeling a little yucky (but NO throwing up!!). Next treatment will have to be done at the hospital because my infusion nurse at the doctor's office will be on vacation (not sure what she is thinking ~ taking a vacation while I'm going through this!! LOL!), however the ladies at the AMU are totally awesome so I know I'll be in great hands.

Tomorrow is the dreaded SHOT! Yeah, I know everyone is tired of hearing me complain about it, but I feel it is my God given right because it hurts like beeep!

See our new yellow lab ~ just kidding. Took Buck (our golden retriever) to the groomer to get shaved! I was really scared to see what he was going to look like, but I have to say he turned out quite handsome. Thank you Ms. Angie for taking good care of him today!

Bucks new hair do!!

Super excited that the office is closed next week! Still have some work to go in and do, but my schedule can be flexible. Hoping to spend some quality time with my girls at the pool and the beach, and have some friend coming into town! Good luck to the Carlee Hope crew that will be fishing in the marlin club tourney next week! Hope you guys catch the big ones!

Hope everyone else has a wonderful week. My thought for the day: If you feel like you should do something kind for someone - JUST DO IT! Don't put it off, you never know what that person may be going through and you just may be the person to brighten their spirits! Thank you to the very kind man that brought donuts and fruit to the infusion room today while I was getting my treatment! He sat and talked with me for a while, and his gesture was deeply appreciated! Our actions don't have to be "big" for them to matter!

not a worry in the world

OK, so that's not really true! I wish I could live without any worries. I try really hard but even before my diagnosis I was a worry wart. Of course, the things I worried about before seem pretty silly now! What I have been through has taught me so much, but one of the most important things is how precious life is, and that we should not take a single day for granted. Don't put off doing things that you enjoy, or spending time with your family and friends. The love and support of my family and friends is what has made it possible for me to make it through this journey! On the days that are really tough, it is my belief in God that has gotten me through! Family and friends are great, but there are some things that only He can help us through!

I am so proud of my friends that run the Susan Komen Race for a Cure marathon this weekend. I am hoping that next year I can join in!!

Thank you for supporting such a great cause! and thinking of me : )

So yesterday Karlene had a girl scout field trip to Frisco Woods Campground for windsurfing lessons. She had a great time! I wish I had pics to post, but while she was doing her thing my dad and I took Kimber and Maddie fishing in the boat!! The girls had so much fun, and they each got to catch 6 bluefish! I was too busy helping them catch their fish to get action pictures, but I did manage to get them to each hold a fish when we got back.

Kimber and Maddie with their catches!!

Before I could get them to hold the fish for the picture they wanted to know if they were dead yet!! When we were in the boat they could hear them jumping around in the cooler so they weren't really sure about holding them! They were really great fishin' buddies!!

This past week has been good. I seem to be sticking with the same pattern in the way I feel. Usually about 4-5 days after treatment are just yuck, but then I have at least a week that is really good. That week goes by way, way too fast! I try to do as much fun stuff as possible in the good week to make up for not being able to do much the days that aren't great. My once shaved head is getting really close to just being bald at this point!! I almost hate to say it but so far eyebrows and eyelashes are still hanging in there. I'm sure it is just wishful thinking that they may actually get to stay, but seeing how much hair is gone from my head if they are still there now ~ well a girl can wish, right??? Next treatment is Thurday ~ I'll be halfway done!!!! Of course, for a few days I won't really feel like celebrating much, but once I feel better I definately think that the halfway point is worth celebrating!!

happy birthday to me!

Wish I could say that the good news from Friday continued, but not really. Yesterday started out good and so I thought I would take advantage of it and hit the gym... not a great idea! Did get to have breakfast with the office at Outback Kitchen! Very good!! It was straight to bed when I got home though. Tried the sound side for a little while but ended up going back home and back to bed.

And then it was my birthday! Still don't feel good. Have been in bed or on the couch all day. Have plans with the family to go to dinner so I'm hoping I will start to feel better quick! I am really looking forward to the cake my Mom baked... with homemade almond icing!! My favorite!! Karlene cooked my breakfast and Kimber sang me "Happy Birthday to You"! The most important thing is being able to spend time with my family! Love you all so much!!

happy dance

Woot! Woot! You can't see me but I am doing the happy dance! Well maybe not really... but close. I haven't been sick one time!!! Still had a few episodes of nausea, but they gave me a new med for that also and it really seems to be working : )  My mom also got me some ginger candies that really seem to help when the nausea comes around. Overall so far, treatment #3 was much better than the previous treatments.

Back up to the hospital today for my shot. It is quick but does sting pretty bad. However my blood counts have been really good so it must be doing what it is supposed to.

Really hoping this feeling good continues as my birthday is Sunday!! I was really kind of dreading it because I had been feeling so bad after treatments, but I am highly optimistic that these new meds are going to make things so much better! After a diagnosis like mine everyday is special, but birthdays and holidays hold even more meaning. Looking forward to celebrating with family and friends... they have been my arsenal of hope throughout this journey!