post hurricane irene update

I decided to go... which was probably a good decision. My mom, the girls and I are staying with family in Graham, NC. I have talked to Stewart and all in Frisco was pretty good. Other parts of our island didn't fair so well.

Surgery is scheduled for Thursday morning. Not sure yet if Stewart and my dad will be able to get off the island to be here or not. Praying they get here, but feel like even if they can't that surgery doesn't need to be put off, so I'll put on my big girl pants and do what I have to do. We have other family located in other parts of NC that will be on stand-by to come help my mom with the girls if needed. Most of you know that surgery for me is pretty scary... don't know why. I have never had a bad experience, and this is certainly not my first go round. I guess it would be the same as someone having a fear of the dentist, the dark, or whatever their own personal nightmare may be. Completely unexplained but still a fear all the same. This is not the plan that was set out for this week but sometimes we just have to go with the flow and try not to worry about things that can't be changed.

I have limited internet access so I will update as much as possible after surgery. Praying for my island home, and the people who have been devastated by Hurricane Irene. Wish I was there to help!

do i stay or do i go now???

Normally this wouldn't even be a question. However with surgery looming only a week away, one has to question the possibility of whether I may be able to get there if I stay. The road is known to wash out (even when there isn't winds over 100mph, very high seas and sound surge), and of course one has to be concerned that the bridge may not be able to handle the beating from Irene. As if my stress level isn't high enough with all going on in my life right now without the threat of a category 3 or 4 or possibly 5 hurricane!!

Other than my stress level, I am doing well. My tongue has healed and isn't bothering me at all. I do still have tingling and numbness in my fingers and toes but I think this will get better over time. Muscles have been a little achy, but overall side effects seem to be disappearing. Thank goodness!! Sleep ~ well that's another story... going to sleep isn't a problem, it's staying asleep! The upcoming surgery is probably the cause and hopefully after that is behind me I will be able to sleep like a baby!

Everyone please stay safe ~ whether you decide to stay or go!

THANK YOU!!!

I am completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from this wonderful community we live in!

The Conner's family is the BEST! They all worked so hard in the heat to pull off this benefit. We as an island are truly blessed to have such a wonderful, caring family among us. Thank you to the Conner's family for all you have done for me and my family!

Thank you to my family and friends for the support and help today! I have the most awesome family and friends a girl could have! I love each and everyone of you!

To everyone in the community that came out and supported me ~ THANK YOU! I am proud to call Hatteras Island my home, and blessed to be able to raise my children here!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!! I FEEL SO LOVED AND BLESSED!

lingering side effects

So I have been done with chemo for a week, and the side effects of the last treatment are still lingering on. Hopefully by the end of week two I will be able to notice a huge difference. Hands and feet and still numb and my tongue is bothering me from the pre-med that burned. The last week I have been easily exhausted which should start improving as my blood counts come back up. I have less than two weeks before my surgery, and I hope to make the best out of them!

Starting that off today ~ Karlene and I are going school shoppping!! Not very often that she and I get a day that it's just the two of us. Kimber will be hanging out with daddy.

Sunday is Crazy Johnny's BBQ fundraiser!! Everyone please come out and have some awesome food!! In Buxton beside the Buxton Fire Department, from 11- until. Thank you to all who have worked to make this happen, handing out flyers, and for getting the word out! Hope to see you there!

CRAZY JOHNNY'S BBQ BENEFIT

Benefit for Angie Willis Ballance in her fight against Breast Cancer

Come on out and get some Crazy Johnny's BBQ!!

Sunday August 21st

starting at 11am until

look for us in between Napa and Buxton Fire Department!



chemo has come to an end

Wish I could say that my last treatment was a piece of cake and all went better than expected, BUT not really. The doctors office couldn't get the chemo medicine so I had to go over to the hospital for my treatment. Two of the nurses from the doctors office walked me down to the AMU at the hospital and explained the trouble I had with the pre-meds the last time that my treatment was done there, and I reminded the nurse again when she started dispensing them. First three pre-meds went fine but the last one (which was supposed to be the one that couldn't possibly cause any reactions!!) burned me up yet again. So far it doesn't seem to have burned my tongue like it did last time ~ fingers crossed! On a positive note, at least we now know the exact drug that caused the reaction so I can be certain to avoid any future problems. During my treatment I slept quite a bit, which I usually never do. When my treatment was finished my post blood pressure reading was low, which it never is, and I was clammy, weak, and my pupils were constricted. Nurse didn't seem to be worried so I headed home. Symptoms stayed the same for about 30-45 minutes and then I slowly got back to normal. All I can say is... Thank goodness I don't have to do that again!!

Praise report: We have been keeping an eye on my hemoglobin so that when it got too low I could get the red blood cell booster shot. Two weeks ago it was 10.3, one week ago 10.1, so we thought that yesterday it would be low enough to go ahead and get the shot. Now something to remind you, is that I really didn't want this shot! It is quite painful, and even though the benefits far outweigh the side effects I was really praying that my counts would come back up on there own so this shot could be avoided. When my blood work came back yesterday my hemoglobin was 11.2!! Still a little lower than normal but way up from the last few weeks! God does hear and answer our prayers! No RBC booster shot for me!

Speaking of shots I still have to go today and get my WBC (white blood cell) booster shot, but today is the last one!!

There are several reasons why I started this blog but two are most important. 1. To be able to keep everyone updated with my journey, and 2. To give someone who may have to follow in my footsteps something that they could read that may inspire them, inform them, and show them that they are not alone. What I realized is that as forth coming with information as I am, there is one thing that I have talked about but not really shown...
I'm about to show you what only a few select people up to this point have seen...

                                                my bald head!!

I'm actually kind of proud of it! It is a symbol to me that the inside is what matters and that our outward appearance doesn't make us who we are! BALD IS BEAUTIFUL! Thank you Aunt Sheila for taking the pictures for me!!

I have less then three weeks before surgery, and I'm a little nervous. You would think that after having a hysterectomy in 2008, and three surgeries related to the breast cancer already this year, that it would be a walk in the park by now... not so much! Please keep me in your prayers!

big days coming up

A few big dates are coming up. Thursday is my LAST chemo treatment!! WooHoo! Had appointment with my surgeon yesterday in Chapel Hill, and everything for surgery is all set. I get a three week break after my last chemo treatment, and surgery is scheduled for Thursday, Sept 1st. Looks like whether I'm ready or not it's just about that time! Now to decide what to do with my three free weeks!?!?

gotta love those insurance companies

The doctor gave me orders for blood work to be done today if I was feeling real tired and achy this week. The hope was that my blood counts would be low enough that I could get the booster shot which would help me to feel better. Last week hemoglobin was 10.3 (normal range for female my age is 12-16). For insurance to pay for the booster shot it has to be under 10.0, and guess what mine was today... 10.1! Seriously! Somebody sitting at a desk with no medical training gets to tell me when I can get a shot that will help me feel better... ugh!! Gotta love those insurance companies!!

On a brighter note, it looks like the storm will miss us! Some good waves would be nice. Heading to Chapel Hill on Monday to see the surgeon and schedule surgery. Thursday will be my last chemo treatment!! Got a busy week ahead of me.

keeping it real

Life doesn't stop just because you are diagnosed with cancer! Kimber, my adorable four year old, is ALWAYS into something. So yesterday I left work a little early because I wasn't feeling good. Before heading home I went and picked the girls up. On the way home I explained that they were going to have to be "big" helpers, which meant behaving themselves and not making a mess in the house. The girls decide to play with their Webkinz on the laptop, and I get settled on the couch with the heating pad. Have you ever heard a noise in the back of your head that doesn't immediately give you that sense that you need to be concerned about what is causing the noise? Well, after a little while I hear the toilet flush in the bathroom. This should cause extreme excitement because normally I am fussing that NO one seems to know how to flush the toilet. But then I hear it again ~ and this is when I start to think that I might should be concerned! and when I figure out that Kimber is missing!! Before I could yell "Kimber, what are you doing?", I hear the toilet flush a third time... followed by the sound of water pouring all over the bathroom floor! REST? What's that! Karlene grabbed towels while I starting sopping up water, and we got it all cleaned up. Thought about just sitting in the middle of it and crying, but what good would that have done??

Feeling much better today! Numbness is a little worse, feet and hands, and a little tired. Almost had to take a trip to the medical center... not for me!! Karlene fell off a bike and her arm hit the concrete. Decided to wait and see what it looks like in the morning. A little swollen, but she's been keeping ice on it. She is complaining less and less. Hopefully that's a good sign! She broke the same arm six years ago :(  So here in the Ballance house we are keeping it real! No rest for the weary!