Four years...

Wow! Four years ago I was a busy mom of two wonderful girls with a life that was pretty perfect. It all changed this day four years ago. That phone call... well I can still replay the whole thing in my head. I hope one day that it becomes a memory that is harder to recall but for today it is still very vivid. Most of the events that followed the phone call aren't as clear as they used to be. I go back and read my blog entries so the details are clearer again. I don't want to forget my strength and courage. I don't want to forget that God chose me to heal. I don't want to forget that He has a plan for my life.

Celebrating this day is so important for my family. It has become quite the tradition. The girls always bake a special treat. Usually with a candle. The day is a symbol to them that I am here and healthy.

Every year as this day approaches I am excited. The first two years I was still busy with surgeries or treatments. My third year was the first year that I was actually truly done with all cancer related stuff. It was surreal to be able to realize what I had accomplished over those three years. I thought that would always be the feeling associated with this day. However this year that is not the case. Over the last week or two I have been very anxious. I can't really say fearful but anxious. Many times over the last four years there have been moments when nerves get the best of me. Little panic attacks that almost stop time, if only for a few seconds, and usually associated with the possibility of your cancer returning. In my heart I know that God is in control. He has been with me through it all and I put my faith and trust in Him.

Celebrating today with my family should distract me from the anxiety I have felt lately. Keeping me in your prayers would be much appreciated. Also please continue to pray for those who are currently fighting and my fellow survivors. God Bless!